OMG this has been a travail! Nothing about this book has gone as planned. It’s way longer than I thought it would be, and it took me way longer to write it. But it’s finished, edited, reviewed, and formatted. And you can get it :
Oh man, putting out a book is a lot of work – the formatting itself is a PITA. But now you have nice looking files no matter how you read it. Print will be coming soon.
Here’s the blurb:
Lieutenant Lisa “Circuits” Dunwoody, Delta retired, is a bisexual hacker, and damn good at it. She can navigate the digital jungles of the internet and dark web like a firefly in the night—there one moment, gone the next. But after the death of Lisa’s almost-fiancé six years ago, real relationships are best left in the romance novels she loves. Real life is just too complicated.
Then she attends the local drag show.
Barrett Anders is a non-binary, mostly-retired therapist, though they still do the occasional session for old clients. But in June, they become Misty Fjord, the Viking Vixen, complete with glittering beard. When the Sirens come to town for Ladies Night and Lisa wins a raffle basket, Misty offers to teach Lisa how to use all the goodies in the basket personally.
Then drag queens start dying.
A serial killer seems to be targeting drag queens around the region, but Barrett’s not worried until one of their drag sisters turns up dead with the serial killer’s signature. When Barrett is kidnapped, Lisa must use all her skills at hacking to find them and bring them home before she loses her second chance for a real-life romance.
Trigger Warning: there is attempted sexual assault mentioned by the heroine from her childhood. Readers who are sensitive to this kind of event should take note.
This is not the typical LGBTQIA+ romance where it’s small town cuteness. This is romantic suspense with queer characters in a small town in Montana.
EXCERPT OF THE SIREN AND THE DRAG QUEEN
Lisa took her beer and popcorn and followed the crowd into the main auditorium. It had a bell-shaped stage with the top curve jutting into the audience where it met a set of steps at the central aisle. Seats and tables ranged around it with enough space between them for the performers to roam close. Velvet curtains hung around the whole space, harkening back to the old Vaudeville shows, and Lisa wondered how many entertainers had walked the scuffed stage, singing for their dinners.
“Oh, this is going to be feckin’ awesome.” Chandra “Banshee” O’Connell grinned as she settled into the chair beside Lisa. The former Coast Guard pilot’s freckles stood out in the house lights. “I love drag shows. They’re so fun. I hear they have some performers who’ve been recognized nationally this year. Can you believe it? And they live in our little Podunk town. Just bloody awesome!”
Lisa raised her eyebrows. “Who are the performers? Do you know them?”
“Oh, sure. There are Suzie Que, Amber Jewell, Sindee Swagger, and Misty Fjord, but Tiffany Diamonds and Lucy Stiff both won Rupaul’s Drag Race.” Chandra clapped her hands in delight. “I can hardly wait.”
A half-smile pulled at Lisa’s lips as the house lights dimmed and the Mistress of Ceremonies came out to the stage wearing an elegant black evening gown straight out of the 1950s Sears and Roebuck catalog. It hugged her curves and matched her black elbow-length gloves. She wore a tiara on a gorgeous wig that made her look like Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
“Good evening, good folx. Welcome to the Hodge Podge Lodge for the Timberline Revue. I’m your Mistress of Ceremonies, Audasity Chambers, and I’m delighted to welcome you all to our Little Show on the Prairie.” She nodded and smirked at the cheers and whistles rising from the crowd. “Aw, y’all are so sweet. Thank you. Now, we have an exciting show for you tonight and so many Queens to entertain you. Of course, we have your favorites that you know and love, but we also have some special guests in town for the official Pride celebration here in Broken Pass. So let’s get this party started. Give it up for Ms. Tiffany Diamonds!”
The drag queen who stepped on stage wore the Judy Garland outfit from The Wizard of Oz, complete with wicker basket and ruby red slippers on her feet. The only difference was the bouffant wig of black braids coiled on top of her head and her glowing mahogany skin. She sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow and totally captured the yearning whimsy of a young teenaged girl hoping for something better. Lisa could see why she’d won the reality show.
Ms. Orchard left the stage to thunderous applause, several dollar bills filling her elegant hands. Lisa found herself cheering along with the rest, delighted by the performance, and she slowly pulled out of the sorrow threatening to drag her down.
Lisa’s teammate was correct—the drag queens’ costumes rivaled some of the best Bollywood films, and Lisa sank into the beauty and delight of it all. She’d never been interested in drag shows before, but she could understand Banshee’s delight in them.
“Give it up for Suzie Que, folx!” Audasity said as she glided on stage after the latest performer. “Wasn’t she wonderful? She’ll be performing later this month at the Butte Pride Festival, so you be sure to get your tickets to that. It’s a regional competition. We’re very proud of Suzie.”
The cheers and whistles grew exponentially as the crowd celebrated Suzie Que’s achievement. Lisa clapped as hard as the rest.
“And now we’re gonna take a little break so y’all can use the restrooms and get some more beer and cash. Though with the way some of y’all are listing to one side, maybe coffee and cash would be a better idea.” Audasity grinned as hoots erupted. “Later, gators.”
She sauntered off stage as the house lights came up, and the volume died down to a dull roar as folks picked up conversations about the performers. Banshee and Thunder discussed their favorite acts so far, pointing out all the reasons they were the best. Lisa left them arguing as she made her way to the bathrooms. For once, the line outside the men’s room was longer than the women’s, and she had to laugh.
Definitely not your usual crowded event.
She used the facilities, washing her hands thoroughly before returning to the foyer of the theatre. The moment she stepped into the space, her shoulder blades itched like someone was watching her. She slowed her pace and scanned the area as if looking for one of her team, her senses pinging a warning. She let her gaze slide over every person in the room, trying to determine who paid her more attention than they should.
But despite her careful inspection of her surroundings, she couldn’t see anyone who might be a threat. Grimacing with feigned disappointment, she shifted back toward the auditorium doors and watched for anything out of the ordinary.
Who am I kidding? Everything at a drag show is out of the ordinary.
Still, she could feel someone’s eyes on her until she entered the auditorium and returned to her table. Thunder, Banshee, and Bindi all argued over what was better—the drag show or a Bollywood film. Lisa rolled her eyes when they tried to pull her into the argument, but she just nibbled her popcorn without offering her opinion. The sense of someone watching had disappeared, but it didn’t stop her from scanning the crowd for anyone paying too close attention to her.
The house lights flashed as a reminder to the audience to get back to their tables, and Lisa tried to relax into her chair beside Thunder and Wizard. Ms. Audasity returned to the stage in her little black dress and waved when there were cheers from the crowd.
“Oh, honey, Mama likes that kind of attention, she sure does.” Audasity winked and blew kisses toward her admirers. “Now, y’all behave, because we have a special treat for you tonight. Most of our regulars know this next performer. She’s traveled all over this country for drag competitions and co-established The Timberline Revue right here in Broken Pass. Put your hands together for Ms. Misty Fjord, the Viking Vixen!”
The familiar heavy beat of It Must Have Been Love by Roxette filled the room as a spotlight illuminated a tall figure with her back to the audience. The queen had broad shoulders, a nipped-in waist and tall black boots with stiletto heels that made her even taller than what had to be six feet plus. She wore a golden brown, sleeveless sheath dress with a wide, black, sparkly belt and a short, spiky wig straight out of the 1990s.
When the lyrics started, she turned, her makeup flawless, and Lisa swore she watched the actual lead singer of Roxette sing the lines. Lisa was entranced by Misty’s performance, and for the first time since Julia’s death, her heart stirred with longing. Everything about Misty and her performance unlocked Lisa’s grief and let it pour out of her in enthralled tears.
Briefly, at the very end of the performance, Misty’s startling green eyes met Lisa’s, and she winked with a small, private smile that Lisa felt to the center of her being. It only lasted a moment, but the wealth of understanding in that momentary look shook Lisa to the core. She gasped and rubbed her breastbone as Misty disappeared backstage.
Holy shit.