Oh man. Have you seen the news? I’m sure you’ve read the latest lies the Office of Personnel Management has posted at the Muskrat’s direction. The thing is, all of them are lies and can get civilian government workers in trouble if they take the deal. You can read the whole set of lies right here: https://www.opm.gov/fork/ As someone who used to work for the federal government (and who’s been furloughed a few times), it’s actually illegal to get another job (in the same field) while working for the government. Hell, you can’t even collect unemployment or get another job while furloughed. If you did, you set yourself up to get fired. Additionally, while they promise to pay workers for doing nothing (yeah, they’re trying to cut gov’t spending so this makes no sense), what happens when the Fed’s budgetary continuing resolution comes due March 21st 2025? Will the workers be furloughed? It’s F47’s (Mango Mussolini) usual thing to furlough people while he throws a tantrum over budget. You think he won’t do it again? And when he does, those who are “retired” will be cut off from funding, and won’t get it back. These are all lies and the older workers know it. Most of the people I know who work for the federal government are saying, “Nope. You want me to leave, you have to fire me for refusing to leave my job in the public sector, doing work for the public. He can stick his fork where the sun don’t shine.” So I wrote a little something inspired by Charlie Daniels Band’s Devil Went Down to Georgia. It’s as silly as the dumbshittery the Muskrat is proposing. Enjoy. ~~~~~~~ The Devil went off to DCHe was lookin’ for jobs to stealHe had to cut costs before all was lost,And needed to make a deal. He came across government workers,Sitting at their desks and payin’ their dues.The Devil jumped up on social mediaAnd said, “Folks, lemme tell you the news.” “You can get paid for doin’ nothin’Even find another job.Take deferred retirement andGo on vacation with your mom.” The workers eyed him narrowlyAnd said, “That sounds all sorts of wrong,But tell us more, we want to be sureYou’re not stringin’ us along.” The Devil looked affrontedAnd adopted an innocent aire.“I swear to you, there’s no other shoe,It’s in black and white right there.” He held up a gossamer scrollWith glittering, sparkly ink,“My boss says yes, you don’t have to guess,You don’t even have to think. Take the deal we’re offering.Just sign on the dotted line.You won’t regret it, my boss he said itHe won’t burn you this time.” But the older workers who’d been furloughedEnough times by that same boss,Said “wait a minute, we’ve been in itAnd this is a load of dross. He’s shut down this here governmentMore than a time or twoWe didn’t get paid, for days and days,And we’re supposed to just trust you?” The Devil spouted promises,Of repose and money, too.He said, “you’re done, have some fun,And we just want the best for you.” The older workers scoffed outrightAnd suspiciously crossed their arms“I’m stayin’ right here, doin’ my jobFor the public, despite your charms. “You want us all to go away,And abandon the public work?You’ll have to fire us, and look real sus,Explaining why you’re such jerks.” The Devil gaped and gasped in surpriseNot sure how to face this crowdSo he raised his hand, made a Nazi standAnd fled back to Twitter, cowed. ~~~~~~ “Devil Went Off to DC”Copyright © 2025Siobhan MuirAll rights reserved
Letter to the Editor: OPM Lies
